Why people write poetry?

I hated poetry right since I had it in my English syllabus. So I decided to get to the root of the problem and tried to understand why people write poetry. In my opinion some of the reasons are :

1) They are jobless

2) They have a lot of spare stationery at home

3) They cannot write proper sentences i.e. you cannot understand it unless someone explains it to you (you cannot question the understanding of the person explaining it)

I also googled this topic and hit on a fantastic article. Here is the excerpt:

What a boring subject, Poetry! I could never understand why anyone would like to write or read poetry. The idea of a person that has nothing to do but ponder on life's experiences of happiness, life, death or sorrow and put in to lyrics makes me feel that either that author has nothing better to do in life (flaky), maybe he/she is crazy or even a whiner. When I think of poetry, it reminds me of a satirical recording done in the early 70's by two comedians, Cheech and Chong, "The Big Bambu' ". In that recording a character, Sister Mary Elephant decided to recite a poem. As the good sister started off with the first verse, "The birds fly to the apple tree, the bumble bee kissed the flower tree", the class starts to fall asleep, with auditable snoring. Eventually, Sister Mary Elephant is annoyed by the snoring and yells, "Class, Class, Wake Up"!! That was classically humorous. What's really funny about poetry is that most people I spoke to have the same feeling about it. Their perception of poetry, as well as mine, is like listening to flowery words of love that its purpose is to bring warm fuzziness to the reader.

Couldnt have put it better!!!! If shakespeare, shelly, Wordsworth are alive today they should be subject to 302 of the Indian Penal code!

Workaholics

I was amazed to find a community of workaholics in a social networking site. What was even more intriguing was that some of my friends were members of it!!!. 5 out of 70 members were chartered accountants!!!!Why do people take pride in saying that they are workaholics??? Being a bandh today, I am at home and feeling bored as ever, I googled this topic and landed up with some interesting answers.

First Who is a workaholic?

A workaholic can be defined as someone who spends extraordinary time or effort at his or her work. The similarity with the word "alcoholic" provides a negative tone, meaning that the person is "addicted" to his or her work and would rather spend time at work rather than activities that most people find enjoyable.

Workaholics can be of 2 types. Voluntary and involuntary workaholics. Who are these involuntary workaholics?

In this context, the term "involuntary workaholic" can seem puzzling because it conflicts with the general belief that workaholics derive pleasure from what they are doing.

Involuntary workaholics are those people who are driven by external forces to work longer, even though they would rather be doing something else. Insufficient staffing, inflexible deadlines, lack of planning, improper prioritization, bad estimates, poor quality and unforeseen risks can create circumstances where employees and managers have to work harder and longer. Many workaholics are actually victims of situations created by themselves or other people or processes in their organization. They are working harder because they have no other choice.

How are involuntary workaholics created?

A second type of involuntary workaholic is created by managers who wrongly associate more effort with more output, and reward or encourage workaholic behavior. Such managers are themselves busy all the time and they want to see everyone put in as much effort as they do. Such a direction puts pressure on everyone to demonstrate their "dedication". However the proxy for more effort is simply "more time spent in the office" or "more face time with the manager", not necessarily actual work.

What are the problems for workaholics?

Quality is the first casualty in a workaholic environment as people hit biological limits on their body and brains and start making elementary mistakes. Then, the rate of work getting done starts decreasing, because people get too tired to contribute as effectively, and also need time to fix the mistakes that they made. In the end, there is only a very short-term improvement in productivity coupled with major quality problems and a long-term decline in productivity and increase in attrition due to employee resentment.

From organisation's standpoint?

From an organization's standpoint, there are significant advantages to having voluntary workaholics over involuntary ones. Voluntary workaholics are more knowledgeable and produce high quality of work consistently. They tend to be more flexible with changing needs because they have more time at their disposal. They are willing to take on more responsibilities, even if they sometimes overestimate their capabilities.

Crudely for workaholics the law of diminishing marginal utility does not apply.

Hard work hasn't killed anybody but why take a chance!!!!

The month of april and accountants

Its April 14 today and anytime a call is due from office. I have absolutely nothing to do and i am feeling extremely bored. So why not try to blog on some topic that has never been explored? (All bloggers from America to Amjikarai have this feeling that their blogs contain some posts that are mindblowing, pathbreaking etc [if you are blogger you can add your favourite adjective] and those posts are on topics that have never been explored). I am no excpetion and I zeroed on "THE MONTH OF APRIL AND ACCOUNTANTS". So, here is the content:

Officially its a holiday today but people in mostoffices are working. Almost all accountants work the entire April citing year end as a reason. They go home late , come to office early, sport some somber faces and assume that if they dont work on that day the human species will go the dinosaur way.

This leads us to one single logical question - what is that accountants do in april that they dont do the entire year?

1. They pass entries.
2. They close books of account.
3. They prepare financial statements.
4. They audit the books of account.
5. They prepare audit report.
6. They sign audit report and financial accounts.
7. In between all the above they discuss a lot.

If 1 to 6 takes 35% of the time, 7 takes 65% of the time (seriously!!!)

Non accountants think that this is some rocket science. Strictly, it is elementary. Luca Pacioli has kept it very simple. Every debit has a corresponding credit. Simple!!!. But people brag that they have tallied the balance sheet !!!! (CA students included).

All 11 months people from other departments say marketing, R&D , Business strategy run the show and finance finds it difficult to get into the limelight. Cometh april, reasons like finalisation, audit, Board meeting, resolutions are stated and other departments are made to look pedestrian.All accountants burn the midnight oil, forget families and dedicate themselves to the organisation (!!!!).

The next question that needs to be asked is - Is it really really required?

A big no is the answer. Reason being accountants dont plan (including myself). All important decisions are taken during the 11th hour. They inwardly like the last minute rush. So they should....... The inevitable has happened!!!Call from office.

SC on forex differences

Finally a judgment has come from the SC on the taxability of exchange differences.

The sum and substance of SC's judgment (CIT vs Woodward governor's case )is as follows:

a) Exchange differences on items in revenue account:

For exchange differences on revenue account to be deductible the following conditions need to be satisfied:

(i) whether the system of accounting followed by the assessee is mercantile system, which brings into debit the expenditure amount for which a legal liability has been incurred before it is actually disbursed and brings into credit what is due, immediately it becomes due and before it is actually received;

(ii) whether the same system is followed by the assessee from the very beginning and if there was a change in the system, whether the change was bona fide;

(iii) whether the assessee has given the same treatment to losses claimed to have accrued and to the gains that may accrue to it;

(iv) whether the assessee has been consistent and definite in making entries in the account books in respect of losses and gains;

(v) whether the method adopted by the assessee for making entries in the books both in respect of losses and gains is as per nationally accepted accounting standards;

(vi) Whether the system adopted by the assessee is fair and reasonable or is adopted only with a view to reducing the incidence of taxation.

SC has also said that exchange differences would be deductible under section 37.

b) Exchange differences on items in capital account:

On the capital account front, this judgment is purely on 43A. The department had contended that amendment to 43A was only clarificatory in nature and not amendatory i.e. unrealized gains or losses on account of foreign currency borrowings cannot be adjusted to cost of fixed assets (prior to 43A amendment). However SC has held that the amendment is amendtory and not clarificatory in nature. This means that unrealized losses /gains can be adjusted to the cost of fixed assets prior to 43A amendment.

An interesting part in the 26 page judgment is the SC has analysed AS 11 also to give its verdict.

But the conundrum as to what constitutes revenue account and capital account still remains!!!!!

Letter to the President

Dear Mr.President,

I write this letter with a very very heavy heart. Satyam fraud has resulted in a crisis of confidence. The investor community has lost confidence in auditors. For the first time in the history of corporate India, two chartered accountants have been arrested and kept in judicial custody. There are rumours that the two have confessed that they have colluded with the management in committing the fraud.To add fuel to the fire, an article in Business Standard read that certificates issued by Chartered accountants for payments under Section 195 of the Income tax act have come under the scanner as some CAs are certifying left right and centre without looking into the applicability of TDS, for the want of money. (This allegations are made by IT department officials as if they are all Raja Harishchandras!!!)

The above happenings warrant the following:

1) Instilling the public confidence in the CA fraternity by taking swift disciplinary action against the guilty (Satyam and IT certification)

2) Make the general public understand that auditors dont enter their client's premises sniffing fraud and the expectation gap also needs to be bridged

With due respect to the institute and yourself, I believe you have, rather unfortunately, got your priorities wrong. Instead of weathering the storm, you have also started playing the blame game. If couple of partners in PwC colluded with the management in committing the fraud (not yet proved) how can you initiate action against the firm as a whole? Please remember that, the guilty are the profession's enemies and not PwC. This attitude is omnipresent among all non big 4 partners and employees. Aren't people working in PwC members of ICAI? If PwC goes the Arthur Anderson way for the deeds of 2 partners, what would happen to the thousands of people working there? And what was the reason in reacting angrily to appointment of KPMG and Deloitte as auditors of Satyam? Sir it is well understood that KPMG and Deloitte in India mean the Indian firms under their umbrellas. It must be understood that while every other profession/sector is opening up, we cannot remain shut. Whether you accept it or not the "hated in India" Big4 firms have certainly brought in quality into the audit work, in India. This view is also seconded by our ex finance and current home minister.

So please wage battles to weed out fraudulent auditors and not Big 4 firms.

Thanks and Regards

CA.M.Mukund

(Articleship - PwC)

P.S - Since I have been a PwC article I know about the quality of audit work carried out there. As I am also a member of the institute I am also competent enough to comment on the audit quality.

Sidhuisms (Borrowed from sites/blogs)-Part II

Here are some more sidhuisms:

1.That ball went so high it could have got an air hostess down with it.

2. There is light at the end of the tunnel for India, but it's that of an incoming train which will run them over.

3.Experience is like a comb that life gives you when you are bald.

4. He is like Indian three-wheeler, which will suck a lot of diesel but cannot go beyond 30! (On Romesh Kaluwitharana)

5. As uncomfortable as a bum on a porcupine.

6. The ball whizzes past like a bumblebee and the Indians are in the sea.

7. He is as confused as a child is in a topless bar!

8. The pitch is as dead as a dodo.

9. You cannot make Omelets without breaking the eggs.

10. One, who doesn't throw the dice, can never expect to score a Six

Sometimes the commentary is more interesting than the match itself. So never miss the fun when sixer sidhu is commentating!!!!

Sidhuisms (Borrowed from blogs/websites) - Part I

Here are some enjoyable sidhuisms:

1. Sachin Tenduklar drives the ball faster than Michael Schumacher's Ferarri.

2. The wily fox is back? It is an ill omen when a fox licks the lambs! (Muthiah Muralitharan)

3. Sehwag's score is running like an Indian taxi meter.

4. He chased the ball,as if a young guy chased a beautiful girl, but who never knew she was daughter of army officer and paid the price, with his wicket.

5. Wickets are like wives - you never know which way they will turn!

6. He moved like a heavy duty truck (when a fielder dropped a catch due to his slow reaction)

7. A fifty is like kissing a virgin, you just have to go on!

8. Any good product without advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark, you know what your doing but she doesn't.

9. My parents always said, "laugh and everyone will laugh with you, sleep and you snore alone."

10. The trouble with Father Time is that it did not even wait for a woman

11. I lean on statistics like a drunken man leans on a lamppost, only for support, not illumination

12. Sachin Tendulakar is using his bat to make the fielders run all over the place just like my wife uses her broom to make me run all over Punjab!

13. Strutting around wicket as 'proud as peacock'

14. Rahul Dravid has hit this shot as straight as a candle.

15. Only one man in a thousand is the leader of men, rest 999 follow the women.